Why did God come when he did?
I’d not been to church in years, didn’t read the bible, rarely prayed – and then God came, and let me know that he accepts me, he loves me just as I am.
But why, why then? Over the years God has given me several reasons; the tally currently runs at 6.
my baby now has a baby of his own
The first reason came almost immediately. I had not been consciously praying, but I had been in a state of thankfulness. I was sitting in a chair in hospital reflecting on the past few days. Thankful that I had come through: I could breathe again, really fill my lungs, and had a healthy baby. Thankful for the skills of the doctors and nurses. I was very aware that in another time or another country it was possible that neither of us would have survived. Thankfulness is very powerful [see post: https://delemares.wordpress.com/2012/04/12/forgiveness-and-thankfulness-2-keys-to-mental-health-10-2/ for more on this – and yet more posts here: https://delemares.wordpress.com/tag/thankfulness/ ]
The second reason: obedience.
For the second time I was expecting an unplanned baby and a doctor hinted that I might want an abortion. But I didn’t want that. Later God showed me that this baby was part of his plan for me, and I accepted that. [Please note: I don’t want anyone who has had an abortion to feel condemned by this. God still loves you. There is a way back – that’s the message of my story.]
Thirdly: some years later, God showed me that I’d not only accepted that this baby was part of his plan: more than that, I had welcomed the baby. It wasn’t a matter of ‘Oh well, this is God’s plan, I’d better get on with it.’ I’d actually welcomed the idea. And yet, I can’t take credit for it as an act of will. A few months before the pregnancy, I’d been standing talking with some friends when my then youngest son stood in front of me and pulled my jumper over his head. Someone joked that I looked pregnant. Thinking on it, I became a bit broody – maybe it was a shame that I couldn’t have another baby.
Sitting in church years later, God reminded me of this. The speaker was talking about children’s church and how Jesus had said that whoever welcomes a little child in his name welcomes him. He was speaking from Matthew 18:5. I went home and read the parallel passage in Luke (9:48) which adds: ‘Whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me.’ I then read in John 14:23 ‘If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we [Father, Son and Holy Spirit] will come to him and make our home with him.’ I believe that that is what happened: the triune God came and made his home in me. And I haven’t looked back since! [Please not: Jesus does NOT say that anyone not obeying the Father is not loved by him: just that those not loving Jesus will not obey. I believe that the Father loves everyone whether or not they obey, or even believe that he exists.]
I’ll tell you the other 3 reasons in the next post in this series. You can find earlier posts at: https://delemares.wordpress.com/category/my-story/
Have you had a similar experience of God coming to you at a time when you felt far away from him? Please share.
Sandra
MMM... Meditation, Mental health, Mindful crochet 
Another beautifully written Blog. All of these sections in this series have Challenged me to contemplate things in a different way and also make me quite reflective of things that have happened.
I can relate greatly to some parts of your story so far. However, I would say I am still very separate from God at times. There have been moments of ‘clarity’, such as the ones you mentioned above.I remember a particular service in relation to ‘redemption’ that spoke volumes to me.
A path I am eager to explore but at the same time I can be filled with ambivalence.
Thank you for sharing your story and please continue to!
Thanks, Nat. I’m glad you’re enjoying my story – it encourages me to keep going.
Another good episode of your life story Sandra! Why did God come when he did? Well I believe that despite our, for want of a better phrase, ‘tangible experience’ the higher reality is that He never leaves in the first place. After all the Bible tells those who have accepted Jesus Christ that He has promised to never leave us or forsake us. God can be trusted. He does not lie. If He said it; it is so, or else He is not God . Our ‘tangible experience’ though often says different and God can seem very distant. But as a line in a Cliff Richard song went “You know me better than I know myself”. God knows the best time for HIm to reveal Himself afresh and for us to respond to him and often it simply that we look in His direction as you describe. Thankfulness and obedience are, amongst many other attributes, fruit that Jesus demonstrated while He walked on this earth.
Look forward to the next part!
Thanks for commenting, Mark. I too believe that God never leaves us, but during those dark years he seemed very far off. It was a great thrill to read later that Jesus is always interceding for us. What a wonderful, merciful God we !
It is good when you can see like you can God’s presence in the different times in your life…Diane
I would like to read your entire testimony but I need to know where it begins. Can you reply to this comment and let me know?
Thanks for wanting to read the rest of my testimony, Robin. It begins at: https://delemares.wordpress.com/2012/04/18/my-story-1-from-atheist-to-agnostic-3-2/
The other posts are at: https://delemares.wordpress.com/category/my-story/
Sorry, they are in reverse order – click Control+End for the first one. There are a few other posts mixed in. I should put them on a separate page like you have with your testimony.
Bless you. Hope all is going well with the DBT.